When Your Body Calls Mayday
5 Truths About Starting Over in Midlife
Sometimes our bodies have to scream before we finally listen. This is the story of how a ruined family vacation became the wake-up call that changed everything.
The Day Everything Changed
I can remember the day so vividly. It was a celebratory vacation to Hilton Head, South Carolina, since our daughter had graduated from high school. We had never been there before, so we were all excited leading up to the trip. All the excitement went out the window as I found myself laid up in bed, practically bedridden, experiencing pain that I would not wish even on my worst enemy.
Everyone’s attention was focused on me. I had literally sucked all the air out of our rental house. No more laughter and excitement—only pure fear and concern. My husband, kids, and mother-in-law would periodically peer through my bedroom door to see how I was doing, checking if I needed pain medication or assistance with anything. My kids would just curl up next to me in their best effort to give me comfort. I had ruined the family vacation.
My lower back was holding me hostage. The agony was so intense I couldn’t turn on my side to get up and stand. It even hurt to take a breath. I was completely incapacitated. Lying there in that bed, I knew something had to change. I had not been active for several months. I had gained 20 pounds. This was the third time my back had disrupted my daily activities, but this time was different. This was a Mayday call from my body, screaming for me to take better care of it—to reconnect with something deeper.
The Mayday Call
When we returned home, I went to see an orthopedic surgeon who diagnosed me with an L5 herniated disc. By the time I got to the appointment, I was slowly feeling better and thinking about getting a personal trainer. He told me that getting a personal trainer was just as good as physical therapy, so he wouldn’t prescribe it, saying it would be a waste of my time and money. He also told me that I would likely be back to see him in the future, as everyone he sees with this problem always returns.
This is when I made a mental note that I would prove him wrong. There was no way I was coming back there. The next time, he would tell me I needed surgery or that he wanted to put needles in my back. It wasn’t happening. Not on my watch.
What I learned in the years that followed wasn’t just about healing my back. That orthopedic surgeon was wrong—dead wrong.
Maybe you’ve had your own Mayday moment. Maybe you’re having it right now. Whether it’s your back, your energy, your health, or just that nagging feeling that your body deserves better—you don’t have to wait for rock bottom. This moment can be your call to return to yourself, to become truly rooted in your essence.
Five Truths About Reclaiming Your Body
Here’s what I wish someone had told me when I was lying in that bed in Hilton Head, and what I want you to know right now about truly getting rooted in your essence:
1. Forgive Yourself
This is just a setback, and there will be more. As Donny McClurkin’s song goes, “We fall down, and we get up.” This is not where your story ends. Your body isn’t betraying you—it’s trying to communicate with you. Listen with compassion, not judgment.
2. You Are in Control of Your Own Destiny
You either roll over and play dead or figure out how to be better and stronger, one small step at a time. I chose to get up and fight—not because I’m some superhero, but because I refused to let my body write the ending to my story. You have that same power within you.
3. Tools Are Only as Good as the User
A personal trainer or gym membership is a powerful tool, but your commitment to using it to strengthen your body’s weaknesses is what truly makes the difference. The magic isn’t in having the perfect equipment or program—it’s in showing up consistently, even when you don’t feel like it.
4. Break Through Frustration with Consistency
Without discipline and consistency, change is incredibly difficult, and that frustration can derail your progress. The trick? Small, consistent steps that build exercise into a sustainable habit, not a dreaded chore. Progress over perfection, every single time.
5. Embrace Your Body’s Continuous Transformation
The weight may not come off as easily as it did 10 years ago. Your body has changed in different ways since starting your career, becoming a wife, or becoming a mother. You may have to try different approaches to reach your health goals. This might include changing your diet or even moving the goal post a little closer. Lofty goals can lead to lack of motivation when you don’t see results coming as quickly as you expected.
Here’s the truth: your 25-year-old metabolism is gone, and that’s okay. Your 45+ body is wiser, stronger, and more resilient than you think. Stop comparing yourself to who you used to be and start celebrating who you’re becoming.
Four Years Later: A Labor of Love
Four years later, I’m stronger than I was before that trip to Hilton Head. I did have a setback that required steroids to treat my back about a year after the trip, but I didn’t let that discourage me. I continued working with my personal trainer and haven’t had any issues since.
I’ve learned that taking care of my body is a labor of love. Like having a career, being married, or raising children, it’s not easy, and it requires grace, flexibility, focus, and respect. It’s about honoring the vessel that’s carried me through life and will carry me through whatever comes next.
The orthopedic surgeon who predicted I’d be back? He was wrong. Not because I found some miracle cure, but because I chose to listen to what my body was really trying to tell me. I chose to invest in my strength rather than just manage my pain.
Your Turn
Your Mayday moment doesn’t have to be your ending. It can be your beginning—an invitation to dig deeper and get rooted in your essence.
Maybe you’re reading this while lying in your own version of that Hilton Head bed. Maybe you’re tired of making excuses. Maybe you’re ready to prove someone wrong—or more importantly, prove something to yourself.
What’s one small step you can take today?
Your body has been patiently carrying you through life. Isn’t it time you returned the favor?